i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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