my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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