Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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