She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize