never play flip cup with pint glasses
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize