is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
