I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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