Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
