So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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