she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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