My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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