scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
