Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
