I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
