well you can't waste a boner
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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