i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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