the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
