Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
