Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am one with the molecules
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize