I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
