No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize