Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
