What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
