I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
