I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
