Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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