This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
