People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
