apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
