I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
