Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We had sex on a dog bed..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He? As in you personified your dick?
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