It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
