Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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