i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
