ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
