quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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