i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
