i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize