He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
