I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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