so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
