I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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