when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
