Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
