So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
