I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
