im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize