But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
