Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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