but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The adults are the big ones right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
