last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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