Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
