I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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