i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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