your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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