that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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