Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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