so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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