I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
