you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
