his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
