We got so high we made milksteak
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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